Diary & Writing
Nadja's deep contemplation or everyday insights.
Nadja's deep contemplation or everyday insights.
In January we went to visit our family in Slovenia. We didn’t see any positive consequences of our visit. We were exhausted, and it was hard to get back into our daily routine. The most significant problem occurred when it was time to get back to school. Lejla skipped two weeks of school, and she had a lot of catching up to do - tons of homework. But the most heartbreaking issue we had with Erik. He just didn’t want to go back to school.
In the year 2015, I already wrote an article about having plane tickets. At that time they were to Malta, but the excitement wasn’t any smaller than it is today. It was our first move from our country, and it was a big deal. This time we’ll travel all the way to New Zealand! Can you imagine?! We’ll fly to the other side of the world!
We have arrived on Gozo at the beginning of November. Personally, I fell into a bit of depressive state. Maybe depression isn’t the right description. It was more like melancholy. I wasn’t sad; I was without energy. I wished to snuggle between warm covers and not move out of it.
Findings after four days (27.10. - 31.10.2017) in Gran Canaria.
We couldn’t wait to get on the other side of the island. You know: things always look sunnier somewhere else. But, are they? About our turbulent living from 14. 10. 2017 till our flight to Gran Canaria on 27. 10. 2017.
From 30. 9. 2017 until 14. 10. 2017 we were engaged on a rollercoaster of emotions in a comfortable shelter of a cozy house in Tenerife North.
Today I am thinking about my growth as a writer. It's clear that I have to practice every day to master the art of writing. What I don’t know is in which direction to turn for instructions.
We decided that we’ll go back to Gozo. We’ll stay there until we recharge ourselves and our valets. In a way, it is liberating that we finally determined where we’ll go next. But on the other hand, I feel disappointed. It is like breaking up with a guy. After some hard and unsatisfied period of your time together, you decide to break up with him, and that makes you feel liberated. But at the same time, you feel down, because you failed to build something lasting, your vision of the future with him no longer exists. Your eyes are glowing with excitement for the new possibilities, but some bitterness stays on your tongue.
My life started in October 1987, and interestingly, most of the significant changes in my life happened in October as well.
Do you have this problem when you have to tell something about yourself, and you don’t know how to do it properly? What to say? What is it that defines me? Do I want anything to categorize me and put me in some box? Well, not really…
We are working on our website, which still isn’t on. Leo (he’s coding it) can get a bit of a perfectionist. He wants it to be functional, quick and excellent, and he can get lost in the details. Like he is not nervous enough, I dare to comment what he wrote about us for an intro. It was a word ‘crazy’ mentioned in a context: how crazy we are for selling everything we had and wandered into the world. I kindly exposed, that I don’t understand why travelers like to think about themselves as crazy. They like to brag how insane they are. I get it: we all want to be special, adventurous and cool. But I still think traveling is one of the sanest things one can do.
After a memorable night of sober car sleeping, we drove to the nearest petrol station, where we ordered some coffee and donuts for kids. Nobody understood English. Uh-oh, I think we are in trouble.
As you may already know, our first attempt of hopping into new adventure was crushed, due to flight cancellation. Instead of jumping into the mediterranean sea, we were Couchsurfing back in our parents/grandparents house. As thirty years old independent woman it felt kind of a setback. Maybe all this happened because we were cheating. We cannot claim that our adventure of traveling into unknown starts where we already lived for a year. Ccccc, if you want to do it, do it right! To repent for taking advantage for free, cozy and warm accommodation at parents house, we decide to undergo sleeping in a car.
I was in the middle of a downward facing dog when Leo said: The flight is canceled! I tried to exhale calmly even though my heart started to turn in my chest. It took me some time to fully realize what is going on. I felt trapped in a nightmare. Someone has to be kidding with me. And it wasn’t funny.
I have to have this fights with myself every day so that I overcome my fear by exposing my English writing publicly.
My darling said: “It’s time to write your first blog for the website.” My emotional response: f*cking sh*t!
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