Diary & Writing

My English

Nadja Ebner

9 Aug 17 · 1 min read

I have to have this fights with myself every day so that I overcome my fear by exposing my English writing publicly.

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When I talk about it with my friends or even when that talk is playing in my head, it looks something like this:

- Of course, you cannot be brilliant at it; it is not your mother tongue.

- You’ll get better at it; you just have to read and write in English a lot.

- Every article you write in English, you’ll get better at it.

- Nobody is good at something without practice. Do you know anybody who knew how to tie a shoelace the first time he tried?

- People will always be full of criticism, but remember that you are the one doing what you desire.

Yes, I know… But still!!! I like to write, and I am told I am doing an excellent job writing in the Slovenian language. Now, because we want to travel all around the world, we want people to be able to understand our writing. English is a language that a lot of individuals all around the world understands. So I have to get out of my comfort zone and try to express my feelings and thoughts in another language. It can be frustrating because it doesn’t go with the flow. When I write in Slovenian, I write like crazy, and I don’t stop until I press that last dot in the end. Then I read through what I wrote, and usually, I am like: that’s good! With English, I am struggling to find the right word — I know it exists, I heard it before, but I cannot remember it. During that process of searching (it reminds me when you are looking at computer screen, and there is that word ‘searching’ with moving dots) I am losing my flow. I don’t know what I wanted to tell anymore.

It makes me scream in the pillow.

But! I refuse to stop here. I’ll keep writing every day so that one day my flow of English words will be like Niagara Falls. Powerful and unstoppable. You’ll see ;)

Edited: 3 years ago by Nadja Ebner

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