Diary & Writing

Back to Gozo

Nadja Ebner

29 Oct 17 · 2 min read

We decided that we’ll go back to Gozo. We’ll stay there until we recharge ourselves and our valets. In a way, it is liberating that we finally determined where we’ll go next. But on the other hand, I feel disappointed. It is like breaking up with a guy. After some hard and unsatisfied period of your time together, you decide to break up with him, and that makes you feel liberated. But at the same time, you feel down, because you failed to build something lasting, your vision of the future with him no longer exists. Your eyes are glowing with excitement for the new possibilities, but some bitterness stays on your tongue.

I had a vision of us traveling around the world. We would work remotely and explore unknown lands. Everything will work because we’ll make it work.

In reality, it is like Leo wrote about brain function. You have to specify what you’re doing. Are you having free, relaxed time or are you working; otherwise it is failed mixture of both. You are not working hard nor enough because your energy is in exploring, and you are not wholly enjoying exploring because you worry from where the money will come if you’re not working. Then you are stuck somewhere in between, and that is never good.

Leo and I were struggling for two weeks to find a way, how to manifest our wishes that all will run. Every day we’ve gotten more frustrated about it because we couldn’t find a proper solution. Yes, we did see a lot of beautiful places, but we were just spending money not making it. Now I get it why people work hard the whole year and then enjoy two or three weeks of holidays during summer and spend their savings for leisure because they earned it. It is easier that way. You focus on one thing alone. And you make it as good as you can.

So we have to change our approach in practice. We will go on Gozo because we like it there, it is cheap to rent, and we know how to get around. We don’t need to lose energy on finding nurseries, budget stores and available apartment every two weeks. We will get an apartment for our current base, working space and school for kids. We will work hard to save for our escapes into unknown now and then. And when we have enough money on the side, we will continue our journey towards New Zealand.

Meanwhile, we’ll have something to do in Gozo as well. After living there for a year, we cannot claim we know their culture. We’ll have the opportunity to learn about their customs and tradition. We’ll practice our English and exercise our brain with the Maltese language. If we’re lucky, kids will experience English system of schooling (especially important if we tend to get to New Zealand). Because it is a beautiful sunny island, we’ll have a chance to meet people from all around, coming here to recharge as well.

Slowly but persistently we are meeting our goals. We probably won’t dive with whales anytime soon or built our sailboat, but we are together. The energy created by every individual in our family is inspiring. How each of us evolves and how we puzzle together our uniqueness is heart filling. Until we stick together, no setback is going to harm us. We are still on the road to greatness ;)

Edited: 8 months ago by Nadja Ebner

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